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Meriam Ibrahim Finds Temporary Refuge at U.S. Embassy in Sudan

Prayers have been answered. Meriam Ibrahim and her family have found a safe haven at the U.S. embassy in Sudan 1 . According to Fox News, Meriam’s attorney also confirmed that the family was staying at the embassy.

In case you haven’t heard, Meriam and her two young children were recently released from a Sudanese prison. Meriam Ibrahim, a Christian mother from Sudan, was condemned to death for refusing to renounce her faith. She was also convicted of adultery because her marriage to a Christian man was not recognized. She was sentenced to one hundred lashes for that crime. Shackled and chained in prison, she gave birth to a baby girl. Meriam’s newborn and her toddler son remained in an over-crowded, filthy prison with her.

Meriam’s story clearly demonstrates the hardships and persecutions faced by Christian women living in a Muslim world. They are at the mercy of a male-dominated society that views women as chattel with no rights. Add being non-Muslim woman to this view, and you create an violent environment for women. Maybe it’s time to rethink what some in our country call a war on women.

After worldwide pressure, Meriam’s case was appealed and both convictions were overturned. Meriam and her children were free. Well, they were as free as a Christian woman could be in Sudan. Upon Meriam’s release, she was reunited with her husband, Daniel Wani. But the family’s trouble was far from over.

Meriam’s release enraged a Muslim man claiming to be her half-brother. The man, Al-Samani Al-Hadi, vowed to kill her and seek revenge against other Christians. 2 It was clear the family would not be safe in Sudan. While trying to attain the proper documents to leave the country, the family hid in an unknown location for the first day after Meriam’s release. 3

The U.S. Embassy helped Meriam secure papers to leave Sudan and enter the U.S. with her children and husband. The family made it to the airport, documents in hand. Wani, a naturalized U.S. citizen, should have had no problem leaving the country with his family. But the NISS, a national security force with a reputation for torture, detained the family last Tuesday at the airport in Khartoum. They alleged Meriam presented forged documents. The family initially remained in custody of the NISS before being handed over to the police. 4

And, the dangers kept coming. Wani told Agence France-Presse that death threats had been made against Meriam. 5The death threats appeared to come from somewhere withing the Muslim community. It was not clear, at least to me, whether the police at this point were Meriam’s jailers, protecters, or both. But police protection alone would not keep the family safe. The family needed protection from the U.S. embassy until they were allowed to leave Sudan. Sudanese officials finally agreed to release the family to the U.S. embassy on Friday.

The family cannot leave the country, but they have found a temporary refuge at the embassy. As of now, the family appears to be safe and receiving the proper care. But until they land on U.S. soil, their future remains uncertain. Continue praying they make it out of Sudan safely.


  1. http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/27/sudanese-woman-meriam-ibrahim-safe-well-us-embassy []
  2. http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/24/world/africa/sudan-christian-woman-arrest/ []
  3. http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/27/sudanese-woman-meriam-ibrahim-safe-well-us-embassy []
  4. http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/27/sudanese-woman-meriam-ibrahim-safe-well-us-embassy []
  5. http://www.christiantoday.com/article/meriam.ibrahim.given.refuge.at.us.embassy.in.sudan/38490.htm []

Christian Mother Freed from Prison but Detained in Sudan

Meriam Ibrahim almost escaped persecution for her Christian faith. Almost. She, her husband, and their young children almost escaped Sudan. But not quite.

Emaciated from her captivity, Meriam and her family made it as far as the Khartoum airport. Then everything changed, and it changed for the worse.

The National Intelligence Security Service (NISS) took the family into custody at the airport. They claimed Meriam didn’t have the right paperwork to leave the country, a serious crime in Sudan. 1

There is some dispute whether she was arrested or detained. Fox News reported that a spokeswoman from the State Department had been assured by the Sudanese government that Meriam and her family were safe and just being held until the proper paperwork was produced. No one seems to know exactly where they are being held, however.

Detained or arrested, there is reason to be fearful. The NISS, also known as “the agents of fear”, have built a reputation for their brutal tortures and killings. 2 These “agents of fear” can bypass the legal system and do anything to it’s captors without repercussions. It’s all in the interest of national security. Once arrested, some are taken to secret locations and tortured. We don’t know that this happened to Meriam, but the world should not rest easy while she is in the hands of the NISS.

Background on Meriam’s Situation
Meriam’s captivity began in February when she was arrested on charges of apostasy and adultery. The court convicted her on both crimes, apostasy for converting from Islam to Christianity and adultery for marrying a Christian man (a marriage not recognized, and therefore making her an adulteress). She was sentenced to one hundred lashes for adultery and sentenced to death by hanging for apostasy. Her toddler son, Martin, was imprisoned with her while she waited for her sentence to be carried out.

Adding to the horror, Meriam was pregnant at the time of her arrest. Shackled during labor, she gave birth to a girl, Maya, in the prison. Maya began her early life in prison with her brother, Martin.

Meriam and her lawyer maintained the charges were false. Meriam had never been a Muslim, and therefore never left the Muslim religion. Her Christian mother raised her as a Christian, and she had always followed her Christian faith.

However, Meriam’s father, who left her mother when Meriam was a child, was Muslim. In Sudan, anyone with a Muslim father must follow the Muslim religion. To choose another religion is a crime punishable by death. But the law has no problem with an Islamic man abandoning his wife and child.

A man claiming to be a relative of Meriam’s father’s, Al-Samani Al-Hadi, was willing to step into Meriam’s life: he was first her first accuser. In a wild CNN interview, Al-Hadi claimed she had been a Muslim but then her Christian husband gave her “potions” to turn her into a Christian. Apparently, accusations of magic potions are enough to condemn pregnant Christian woman in the Sudanese-Sharia world.

Al-Hadi’s intense hatred of Christians increased when the appeal court overturned her case, thus freeing her. Al-Hadi said he would kill her himself if she was not executed for refusing to renounce Christianity. 3 He has also vowed revenge on Christians in a CNN interview: “The Christians have tarnished our honor, and we will know how to avenge it.”

Test of Faith
Meriam isn’t one to abandon her loyalties. The judge gave Meriam an opportunity to renounce her faith. Meriam refused. She faced flogging and then hanging. Still, she remained faithful to Christ.

She inspires me, but she also makes me exam my own loyalty to my faith. Would I behave like Peter before Jesus’ crucifixion and deny Christ? Or would I behave like Peter after Jesus’ earthly death and willingly die for my God? I pray for the courage to choose the latter.

U.S. and World Involvement
The U.S. has given 159 million dollars in aid so far this year to Sudan 4, a country known for it’s atrocious human rights abuses. Some of this money is earmarked for economic recovery, a monetary boost to a government that imprisons and kills people for their faith. Maybe we should rethink where we send foreign aid.

The State Department and U.S. Embassy helped secure her initial release. Members of Congress have spoken out; the Senate passed a bipartisan resolution condemning the persecution. The House has been working on resolution, as well. Diplomats, prime ministers, Christians, faith-based organizations, and human rights groups — all of these throughout the world have spoken out.

Pray for Meriam and her family, but pray also that President Obama will speak out for her. So far, he has been silent. His words could possibly change her fate. Meanwhile, Meriam waits.

  1. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2667016/Sudanese-mother-meriam-ibrahim-sentenced-hang-marrying-Christian-RE-ARRESTED-husband-just-hours-freed-trying-flee-country.html []
  2. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2667016/Sudanese-mother-meriam-ibrahim-sentenced-hang-marrying-Christian-RE-ARRESTED-husband-just-hours-freed-trying-flee-country.html []
  3. http://www.uknewsday.com/news/46165-meriam-ibrahim-freed-after-outcry-over-her-death-sentence-for-converting-to-christianity.html []
  4. http://www.usaid.gov/crisis/sudan []

Why the John Hancock Building is a Must-See Chicago Attraction, Part 2

The 360 Experience
The Hancock’s observation floor is now called 360 Chicago. A fitting name, 360 Chicago offers some of the best views of the city. The entire John Hancock experience, from the views to the 45 second elevator ride up 94 floors, makes this a great family destination point.

View from 360 Chicago (Hancock Observatory) of north shore in Chicago.

View from 360 Chicago (Hancock Observatory) of north shore in Chicago.

You purchase tickets for 360 Chicago at ground level. Then the fastest elevator in the world whisks you up to the 94th floor 1. You might experience some tummy rumbling and ear popping, but it’s over in seconds. The door opens. You step out into a glass walled room. Beyond the glass, sky and water stretch for miles and miles. The giant ferris wheel at Navy Pier is the first Chicago landmark you see. Navy Pier is the strip of land that juts out from the city. Lake Michigan disappears into the horizon line with Lake Shore Drive [LSD to Chicagoans] running along the Great Lake.

Over to the south, Willis Tower (Sears Tower) stands out with it’s own dark, iconic presence. On the west side, the city blurs into the suburbs and beyond. You get a great view of the street life below in all the views. My favorite vantage point is the north wall. It’s a great juxtaposition of Lake Michigan, Oak Street Beach, LSD traffic, and amazing Chicago architecture. It reminds me that Chicago does really have a bit of everything.

View from the 360 Chicago looking south.  Sears/Willis Tower  and Trump Tower in distance.

View from the 360 Chicago looking south. Sears/Willis Tower and Trump Tower in distance.

The amazing views were somewhat compromised by the bright sun and haze. It’s still worth it, but I would love to see these views at night. Chicago has one of the most beautiful skylines in the world. Daylight doesn’t do it justice. There is something magical about seeing the night sky as a backdrop for the brightly lit buildings. One of my goals this summer is to visit the Hancock at night, camera in hand.

Another option is the open-air, screened viewing. However, it was not open the day we went because of the construction for the newest feature, Tilt. I also think it would have been too cold. Remember, it’s six degrees cooler at the top, and we were almost at the top.

Tilt 1000 Feet over the City
We visited the Hancock a week before the new attraction, Tilt, opened. In case you haven’t heard, Tilt is an enclosed, glass-walled promontory that — you guessed it — tilts you out 1000 feet over the city of Chicago 2. Your body is angled somewhere between a vertical and horizontal “tilted” position.

Audio Tours
I had read about the free multi-media tour, but somehow we missed that. Instead, my kids listened to the audio tour for $6 each. Adults paid $8. Since I had already dug deep enough into my pockets, I skipped the audio tour for myself. My children listened and learned about the views, architecture and history of the city. (One note: My children, ten and twelve, listened to the adult audio and paid the $6 price because the children’s audio wasn’t available. Based on their response and interest, the adult audio seemed age appropriate for them.)

Shopping and Eating in the Sky
When you’re ready to sit down, you can relax in the cafe area right on the same floor. Grab a table and sip an espresso while enjoying the views. There is a menu for snacks, drinks and a light lunch. We didn’t eat at the cafe because we had lunch plans at the Cheesecake Factory on the first floor.

There is a small gift shop on the top floor to help you part with more of your money. But you have another gift shop opportunity when you leave. The elevator ride down conveniently drops you off inside another gift shop. The bottom floor gift shop is much bigger so you might want to wait until you get down there.

Who Should Go
While the Hancock is a great family activity, I would suggest it more for school age children. Young children may enjoy it, but school age children are likely to get more out of it. I honestly don’t think my three year old would get enough out of it for me to justify the cost. But others may have another take on this, especially if they want the entire family to experience it together.

When to Visit
You can experience 360 Chicago any day of the year between 9 a.m. and 11 p.m. They stop admitting visitors at 10:30 p.m. During peak season, summers, weekends, and holidays, the lines can be an hour or more. The ideal time to visit is during the school year on a weekday morning. We visited on a Monday morning, and there was no line. We paid admission and took the elevator right up to the 94th floor. We had our pick of panoramic views.

Cost
It’s not a cheap family outing, which is why I recommend it for children who are old enough to appreciate it. The cost is $18 for ages 12 and up and $12 for ages 3 to 11. Those under three are free. Tilt costs $5 plus admission. (However, 360 Chicago’s site — link says this is an “introductory” price.) A variety of ticket options are available at www.360chicago.com. If you plan to visit museums, it’s worth looking into one of the bundled packages that include museum visits and the John Hancock for one price.

Getting There
If you don’t mind city traffic or paying a lot for parking, it’s easy enough to take one of the three major expressways into the Streeterville area 3. You can get specific directions and parking information at 360 Chicago. Just be prepared for long waits during heavy traffic periods. Rush hour and weekends heading into the city are congested driving times. An earlier morning weekend commute (before 9 a.m.) would make the drive less stressful, especially during the summer. If you park at the Hancock Building, remember to get your ticket validated to save $5 off the parking price.

When I look at the Hancock and the surrounding city, I’m struck at how it epitomizes the American ideal. The Hancock shows not only what Chicago, a town I miss dearly, can do, but what American ingenuity can accomplish. The Hancock demonstrates the guts and vision that can only be realized in a free society, a society that values individuality and competition. It truly represents America at its best.

  1. www.skyscrapercenter.com/chicago/john-hancock-center/345/ []
  2. www.360chicago.com/tilt/ []
  3. Streeterville is the neighborhood surrounding the John Hancock building. []

Why the John Hancock Building is a Must-See Chicago Attraction, Part 1

Part 1: The Hancock Experience from Ground Level

This is Part 1 of a 2 part series on visiting the John Hancock Building in Chicago.  Part 1 discusses discusses the building’s exterior and it’s significance to Chicago, architecture, and human potential. Part 2 takes you up to the 94th floor for the 360 Chicago experience.  

John Hancock in Chicago

Ground level view of John Hancock Building in Chicago

You can’t miss it on your drive into Chicago. The dark masculine skyscraper stretches over 1,100 feet into thinning air.1 The jet black color contrasts with the bright buildings that dot the skyline. Whatever you do, don’t confuse it with it’s rival, the taller and more popular Willis Tower (formerly known as the Sears Tower). This monster of steel and glass is the John Hancock Building.

The John Hancock is the 33rd tallest building in the world and the 4th tallest in Chicago. 2 To give you some perspective on this, Chicago meteorologist, Tom Skilling, says the top of the building is 6 degrees cooler than ground level temperatures. 3 Talk about climbing into the clouds!

But there is something else that draws us in. It commands us to stare, point, photograph. It’s our man-made mountain that we scale via elevator ride. Humans have always sought to climb toward heaven. Sometimes this desire to climb higher is pure hubris and has gotten the best of us — think Tower of Babel.

Yet the skyscraper doesn’t always reek of arrogance. It shows what man can do with the gifts endowed to him by God. A building that towers over others and reaches far into the sky captivates us. It often defies what we think is possible. We stand at the bottom, crane our necks to look straight up and ask, “Wow, how did they do that?”

The John Hancock is more than an ordinary skyscraper (if there is such a thing). It is an architectural and engineering masterpiece. Although at one time, some debated whether it was an architectural marvel or an inky stain on the Chicago skyline.

Regardless, its presence commands attention. The steel and glass rectangular structure tapers as it climbs up toward the sky. This creates a sturdy foundation that allows it to stretch heavenward. Giant X braces and vertical steel columns surround the facade creating strong, dynamic lines that enhance it’s masculinity.

Like every good design, form and function work together. The X’s serve as diagonal braces that tie to the exterior steel columns. 4 This helps resist wind forces by transferring them back and forth between the braces and the columns. This unique framing system functions as a steel tube that supports the building. 5 The tube concept is truly unique. It economizes on cost and space. Less steel is needed and interior space isn’t taken up with support structures.

Read part 2 of this post to learn more about 360 Chicago and experience John Hancock from the 94th floor.

  1. www.chicagoarchitecture.info/Building/1006/The-John-Hancock-Center.php []
  2. www.skyscrapercenter.com/chicago/john-hancock-center/345/ []
  3. www.chicagoarchitecture.info/Building/1006/The-John-Hancock-Center.php []
  4. www.aviewoncities.com/chicago/johnhancockcenter.htm []
  5. www.pbs.org/wgbh/buildingbig/wonder/structure/john_hancock.html []

A Typical Homeschool Day: Sublime Existence or Flawed Reality?

Have you ever considered homeschooling but wondered what it’s like? It depends on the day, the week, or even the moment.

Here is one moment: The two big kids hunch over the kitchen table and write answers to their history lesson. They have entered “the zone”, that place where time goes unnoticed. They travel back thousands of years to a forgotten time, immersed in the world of the early Greeks, also know as the Mycenaeans. Barbarians knock down city walls. They terrorize the city with their iron weapons. Fathers and sons fight back with inferior bronze swords. Mothers hold their babies while witnessing all the bloodshed. Many Mycenaeans perish. Others flee the rocky, Greek peninsula. These ancient people disappear into history. But their story now lives on through my children, and this story connects both kids to their human history in a very profound way.

This is homeschooling — an edited and carefully framed vision of homeschooling. Missing are the the fears, uncertainties, chaos, even the criticisms from the anti-homeschooling masses. The scene above is no less true, but it reveals only part of the truth.

In another picture, my son fidgets in his chair and “accidentally” kicks his sister. Next, he complains about redoing his math lesson. Weary myself, I make a note to find more examples on time-elapsed problems. It’s going to be another late night.

Chaos has invaded my house. A basket of laundry sits on the kitchen chair, and the days worth of dishes have accumulated in the sink. Little Z has made a trail of toys: stuffed animals, play dishes, a pink tutu, and puzzle pieces wind a path through the living room. The trail ends at the tent, made from from draping a queen-size sheet over two arm chairs. In the corner, I hear the dog chewing something. I investigate and a thud hits the floor. Samson, our dog, looks up at me, guilt in his dark eyes. A cobalt blue puzzle piece rests between his paws with the edges chewed and frayed. I scold him, grab the puzzle piece, and tell Little Z to pick up her toys.

In my edited version of homeschooling, my obedient child would cheerfully pick up every toy. But this is reality, our reality. Little Z starts to whine. She can’t pick up the toys. The toys are for the camping trip in the untamed outback of our living room. (I don’t know where the tutu fits in with the camping plans, but she does.) Looking into her dreamy little eyes, I notice the peanut butter smeared on her right cheek. A smidgen of it has made its way into her hair. Peanut butter must also be on her hands, hands that have touched every object, wall, toy, and piece of furniture. That puzzle piece must have been an especially good treat for the dog. I grab a wet cloth from the kitchen and wipe a screaming three year olds face, hands, and hair.

My son, frustrated by all the noise, tells me he can’t concentrate. My daughter puts her two cents in and orders him to work downstairs. He shouts a predictable, “Be quiet, your not the boss.” She responds that he is always mean to her and then rattles off a laundry list of offenses. It’s official: An argument has begun. I tell them to both be quiet or there will be no dinner or swim practice. Uhg…Am I really ready to follow through with this? It doesn’t matter. I called their bluff; they’re back working.

Not everyday is like this. Most days aren’t even like this. But some days do turn out this way. These days I question my resolve. My mind wanders for a moment thinking how my days would be spent if I weren’t homeschooling.

Little Z and I could play all day. We would attend mom and tot groups. I could dress her up in cute little outfits that didn’t smell like peanut butter. My house would be neat. I could join the PTA. I could write during Little Z’s nap time. Or I could go back to work, wear nice clothes, get manicures. We would have more income, maybe buy a car with less than 100,000 miles it. We would travel to exotic far-away places…Oh, the places we would go.

Ok, none of that is reality either. So here we are. The house is a mess. The math lesson didn’t go as planned. My little one wears peanut butter in her hair instead of pretties.

I remind myself where my children began the year and where they are now: My son, who had given up on himself, now pushes himself through the math lessons. My daughter is finally being challenged. Both have rekindled an excitement for learning. They now follow rules based on absolutes of right and wrong, like the Ten Commandments. The earlier argument between the big kids is nothing compared to the school setting, where four letter words and physical brutality result. It’s not perfect. But it’s the life we’ve chosen for now. And in it’s own strange way, it works for us.

Many parents say they could never homeschool their children. I think the fear of the unknown and the desire for perfectionism often drive this. While homeschooling is not for everyone, I believe many families can do this well. It’s hard, no doubt. But it’s worth the sacrifices. I’ve found that the chaos at home is nothing compared to the chaos at school.

Bee Swarm in the Backyard

Picture a swarm of bees. Now picture them in your backyard.

Bees swarmed our backyard last week, just steps from our door. Here’s a picture below.

A mound of bees under a blooming lilac bush.

A mound of bees under a blooming lilac bush.

The lilac bush provided a temporary nest before returning to their hive.

The lilac bush provided a temporary nest before they  returned to their hive.

My kids were running around with squirt guns only fifty feet away. Immediately, my apocalyptic mind jumped to visions of African Killer Bees attacking my babies. I rushed my kids into the house, vaguely remembering walls and roofs didn’t save Tippi Hedren from attacking seagulls in the attic scene from the The Birds. Certainly Hitchcock intended to make a movie about bees but just never got around to it.

Back to reality and reasonable thinking. First, African Killer Bees don’t come this far north. Second, with reports of the dwindling bee population, we’ve been planting flowers to attract more bees; so, this is probably a good thing. Finally, just when I think I’ve transformed myself into some frontier woman because I don’t live near a freeway or el train, I’m humbled by how little I understand about country living.

It was time to find someone who did know something. So I called the experts at the University of Wisconsin Extension Office. A woman, who had just started bee-keeping, reassured me that this is a good thing. She explained that the honey bees (not African and definitely not killer bees) were probably splitting off from an overcrowded hive and searching for a new nest. I also learned that swarming bees aren’t likely to attack unless antagonized.

Great! The bee population is alive and well in my backyard. Many of our plants, including those in our food supply, depend on these tiny workaholics. The bees transport pollen from one flower to another to allow reproduction. Many species would die out without the help of the glorious honeybee. We owe a lot to bees.

As much as I appreciate God’s tiny, beneficial creatures, I don’t want a swarm of bees buzzing around my backyard. Kids, squirt guns, and happy puppies may inadvertently antagonize. But extermination wasn’t the answer either.

The woman at the extension office rescued us with a win-win solution. She knew an expert beekeeper just down the road from us! The beekeeper showed up within a half hour to assess the situation. He said he would return later that evening with a hive and lure them into it. If the queen was buried beneath the mound of bees (fingers crossed), the right enticement would likely draw them into the hive. The beekeeper would have more bees, I would be rid of the swarm, and no bees would be hurt in the process.

As an added bonus, I learned he sells honey to the public. I had been looking for a local source for some time. Now I had a source within minutes from my house. He shared a wealth of information on bees and beekeeping. In the past, I found that beekeepers — my Grandfather was one — are happy to share their knowledge. He was no exception. (Hmmm….an idea for a homeschool science unit was beginning to form in my mind.)

As luck would have it, the bees returned to their hive before he arrived. He said this might happen. I was disappointed for him. But I also felt fortunate to have a beekeeper just around the corner. He was working hard to keep the bee population going; we now had a local source for honey, and he had new business. Maybe it was a win-win situation after all.

For more information on the importance of bees, check out the sites below.
http://www.nrdc.org/wildlife/animals/files/bees.pdf
http://www.dnr.state.mn.us/volunteer/julaug09/pollinators.html

The First Year with our New Collie

Our Collie puppy at 12 weeks old.

Our Collie puppy at 12 weeks old.

Our family experienced some big changes over the past year. We began homeschooling, lost a dear grandparent in January, and lost our family dog last June. There were other challenges as well. But along with the challenges came some blessings, one of those included a new puppy.

Samson, a tricolor Collie pup, joined our family in September, the same week we began homeschooling for the first time. Yes, I probably needed my head examined for the timing. But logic offered little comfort at this point in our lives. It was time to heal. The kids were adjusting to leaving public school and losing their dog to sudden death. The timing was awkward, but it was right.

 

Little Miss attempting to do her school work outside while Samson wants just to play.

Little Miss and Sampson

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My turn to bond with our puppy.

 

Samson has the Collie personality in every way– loving, gentle, great with kids. He also has the Collie herding instinct. Once the nipping stops, herding looks a lot like chasing. He can spend an entire afternoon chasing, balls, squirrels, birds, sleds, bikes, other dogs, and on occasion, preschoolers. If it’s moving, so is he.

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Fortunately, he has calmed down and turned from hyper-puppy to a loving and nearly-obedient dog. (However, I still wouldn’t trust him with a pair of my shoes.) He now nuzzles instead of nips. And he follows the kids everywhere he can. Every morning, Samson greets us with a gentle stretch and a doggie kiss. What more could a human want?

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He doesn’t replace Scout, our other Collie. No dog can. He is his own dog in his own right. But he has helped us to heal. Dogs are amazing that way. They offer so much unconditional love, especially to those who need it. We need it.

Samson today at 11 months old.

Samson today at 11 months old.

We’ve taken him through two training sessions, something I’d recommend for all dogs and their owners. A good training class is worth every penny. Professional training provides more than a lesson in obedience. It offers socialization with other animals and humans, making pet ownership so much more enjoyable. He learns not to go into crazy-mode every time he encounters a human or an  animal. New experiences don’t jolt him. He’s calm and has a clearly defined role in the family. And that makes the entire family’s life easier.

I pray we have many, many years with him. I look forward to taking him on long hikes this summer to some of our favorite outdoor places. With his nonjudgmental and unconditional love, he heals our hearts in a way that no human can.

Why We Now Homeschool

schoolclosed_signFive years of parochial school, one year of public school: This year we began the homeschool journey.

We tried; we honestly tried. After years of frustration and a feeling that it just wasn’t working, years watching our children’s confidence and love of learning erode, we did something radical. We homeschooled our children.

I didn’t want to take this journey. My youngest would eventually be school age, and I craved a career. I even held out hope of returning to graduate school. Furthermore, our family could use the second income that would come from a career.

But the climate changed, and our children’s well-being was as at stake. The brick and mortar schools had become a wasteland of mediocrity and disrespect. It was not the place my children could grow into healthy, educated, moral adults.

Over the years, my children had slowly accepted standards that contradicted our values: Yes, you must spell correctly. No, you can’t turn in papers that I can’t read. And no, missing nine problems out of thirty isn’t acceptable. What happened to the children I sent to Kindergarten? They were buried beneath an accumulation of bad habits and bad attitudes.

In little bits, my kids had also picked up habit from their classmates, attitudes and behaviors that go against our beliefs. It was a hard battle to fight. They were surrounded by these influences for seven hours a day. My husband and I were outnumbered. Our values were being drowned out by the sheer noise of massive negativity.

Some parents believe their kids are able to rise above the negative influences. They even believe their kids will be the lamplight for others, setting a positive tone. I, too, once believed that.

It’s not a bad thought; it shows the faith that parents have in their children. Indeed, some children do well in spite of the negative influences. But I would guess many of these kids would do even better without so many negative influences.

I urge parents to closely monitor the school environment. Learn from my mistakes. I see the subtle but long-lasting effects on my children and on some of their friends. Teachers and staff are disrespected, students are kicked, hit, even choked by other students. This is not a learning environment. As adults, most of us would not stay in this unhealthy situation. Yet, children face it daily. This trains their minds to accept this as the norm. Make no mistake, it impacts them.

Some parents assume this doesn’t happen in their community. Unfortunately, I don’t think our situation is an anomaly. We live in a small town — a town considered to be a great place to raise a family. It’s filled with good people. Our schools have many good teachers. Yet this chaos happens.

The schools have adapted to the chaos at the price of academics. The elementary school uses a two subject curriculum, reading and math. Sometimes my daughter participated in an “enriched” class of history and science. But this was not the standard. My son’s fifth grade class stuck to math and and a computerized reading program. My children never opened a grammar book.

The school tried. Weekly music and art classes were provided. My daughter’s class, was able to complete a science unit and participate in a science fair. But most students didn’t have this option. However, all students did take a regularly scheduled class called “guidance”. Guidance filled the parental role, teaching children how to behave. I never envisioned any of this for my children’s education.

Overall, we’ve rebounded. My son’s math assignments, which began this year with grades around 68%, now range between 86% and 94%. My daughter’s writing has improved dramatically. Both children show more confidence and a good dose of moral strength. We’ve spent time “unlearning” things, such as procrastination and poor attitudes. We’ve cultivated new habits, like doing the job right the first time, respecting ourselves, and respecting others. We’ve even learned that work is not an ugly word. It can lift us up, open up doors, and bring personal satisfaction. It’s been a wonderful, tearful, challenging and triumphant homeschool year.

Ashton Kutcher at the Teen Choice Awards: Could there be virtue in Hollywood?

I’m going to suggest something that surprises me.  Watch the video of Ashton Kutcher speaking at the Teen Choice Awards.  If you are parents of teens or preteens, play the video for them.  Trust me on this.  Kutcher delivers a message that kids need to hear.

 

I’m not a fan of Hollywood.  I see it as an insulated bubble bursting with inflated egos and self-indulgence.  Ashton Kutcher, however, appears to have stayed grounded.

Did I just make that statement? This is the guy who stars in Two and a Half Men, a show I believe has few redeeming qualities.  Kutcher is funny, charming, good-looking, and he probably has an ego to boot, right?

Maybe I rushed to judgment too quickly.  Ashton, or Chris — his name before he became Ashton — Kutcher is no empty suit.  Peel away the layers of good looks, youth, and charisma and you find something more meaningful:  brains and virtue.

Kutcher talks about real-world opportunity — rather than wait for the big break Hollywood opportunity. “I believe that opportunity looks a lot like hard work,” says Kutcher.

He elaborates further about the jobs he had before becoming an actor — jobs that made him sweat, jobs that got his hands dirty.  This honest work was never beneath him.

I’ve never had a job in my life that I was better than.  I was always just lucky to have a job, and every job was a stepping stone to my next job.  And I never quit my job until I had my next job. (Kutcher, Teen Choice Awards)

This is such an American value. As a midwesterner, I also like to think — while not exclusively — this is a strong Midwest value. Imagine teaching our children that it’s more noble scrub floors then take a handout.

Kutcher then shifts to “being sexy”.  While much of the entertainment industry peddles it’s version of “sexiness” to children, Kutcher raises the idea of sexy to a new level.  He puts a classy, cerebral spin on on a corporeal concept.

The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart, and being thoughtful, and being generous.  Everything else is crap.  I promise you.  It’s just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less.  So don’t buy it. (Kutcher, Teen Choice Awards)

Maybe it takes a charismatic actor to shatter many of the Hollywood tropes on “being sexy”.  Tropes such as “perfection as sexy” or “wicked as sexy” or even “raunchy as sexy” are part of the “crap” that the entertainment world pushes on us. (My apologies for the language, but sometimes an ugly word best conveys an ugly point.)

In Kutcher’s final, but important point, he tells kids to do more than live the life some individual or group has assigned to them.  He tells them to “build” their own life.  Now that is a unique, American ideal.

Christopher Ashton Kutcher possesses admirable qualities:  a strong work ethic, humility, intelligence, compassion, generosity and practical idealism.  These are virtues most of us want to see in our children.  Personally, I wouldn’t mind seeing more of this portrayed in Hollywood as well.

A Tale of Two Siblings and a Kids’ Triathlon

It’s August, time for the annual YMCA “Just Tri Youth Triathalon”.

8:30 Saturday morning, we arrive at our local Y for my children to compete in the triathalon.  I welcome the sunny, seventy degrees after last year’s sticky temperature of 85.

It’s busy, but not crazy busy.  Volunteers hand out race packets.  Moms pin race numbers onto Just Tri shirts while dad’s line up bikes and helmets for the second leg of the race.  My stomach does it’s 77th somersault:  What if they don’t finish?  What if they get hurt?  Sick?  Kidnapped by aliens?

Crazy thoughts.  But I’m a mom and I worry.  It’s what I do.  Then I remind myself not to suck all the fun out of this.  I wonder how much of this performance anxiety I pass onto my children. (Mental note: Add this to my ongoing “mother-guilt” list.)

A Sister’s Tale

swimming girls competition YMCA

9 years old and ready to take o n the world.

A short prayer, then I rush my daughter to the pool. Armed with my camera, I’m ready to capture every kick, every breath. She’s practiced flip turns, honed her strokes, and increased her endurance.

Swim cap on, goggles on — now she’s ready.  She races her heart out, finishing first in her heat.

kids biking YMCA triathalon

Two miles of biking ahead.

Dripping wet, she runs from the pool to the bike.  She’s not as confident with her biking, but confident enough for her nine years.  Her dad reminds her, “Just do your best.”  Then for an extra push he yells as she pulls away, “Try to beat last year’s time.”

She pedals two miles like there’s no tomorrow.  She is my competitive one.  Everything is a race, a chance to improve. She seamlessly transitions from biking into running.  She runs with all her energy, focused on finishing.

Parents form a united front.  We cheer for each little athlete racing by us.  Our kids compete against each other.  Yet, we’re in this together.  My friend’s seven year old daughter pumps her tiny legs like the “little engine that could”.  She looks so small on the giant stretch of asphalt.  Her mom snaps a picture from her Iphone as she rounds the next corner.

More racers fly by us. We encourage them to stay strong.  Regardless of where they are in the race pack — first, last, or somewhere in between, they all give us a lesson in strength, courage, and determination.

My daughter races to the finish line, still strong and still confident.  I’m filled with pride and happiness.  She shows more confidence and strength at nine then I did at twenty.

A Brother’s Tale

A momentarily lapse into seriousness.

A momentarily lapse into seriousness.

Then it’s my son’s turn, more tummy somersaults.  He is in the older group:  his swimming distance is double of the younger group, biking, more than triple. The temperate seventy degrees inches closer to eighty.  It’s not a bad temperature but the asphalt feels hotter, more dangerous.  Doubts creep in.  Did he train enough for the swimming? (No.)  Can he handle this? (Yes, on his terms.)  Where my daughter is super-competitive, my son is Mr. Laid Back.

The 11 to 14 age group lines up for the pool.  Swimming is his most challenging event.

swim kids triathalon YMCA

He is swimming hard.

He chose to practice swimming only once.  Once.  Instead of swimming, he trained by running.  His father and I told him to cross-train for the other events, but he’s eleven and knows all of life’s mysteries.  Besides, he’d rather run while listening to his ipod than struggle (and possibly improve) with something he doesn’t enjoy.  Since he’s 11, I thought I would let natural consequences take place.  They did.

He struggled for the last 50 of the 200 meters.  Unlike my daughter, he swims to  get it done.  He doesn’t hate it, but he doesn’t love it either.  He swims to get to the next event, biking — his favorite.

I watch him buckle his helmet and it seems to take forever.  Then it’s time for a drink, then to check his helmet, then another drink.  I yell out his name and cheer for him.  This is also my way of telling him to hurry.  My type A personality sometimes clashes with his laid-back personality.  I want to see a sense of urgency — hurry with those buckles, hurry with that drink, hurry to get on that bike.  But he’s not hurrying and it’s not my race.  So after one “Hurry, get going,” and one elbow from my husband, I smile.  Then I bite my lip until it almost bleeds.  Finally, he rides.

biking boys YMCA triathalon

Back in his comfort zone, there’s no stopping him now.

Six miles later, he climbs off his bike and runs his heart out. This is the last leg. Swimming slowed him down.  It sacked his energy, but he doesn’t let on.  He puts one foot in front of another and never looks back.  He crosses the finish line.  Once again, my heart swells with pride and happiness.  Finally, I can breathe.  No injuries, no illnesses, no alien abductions.

Happy Endings and a Sigh of Relief

My children survived.  My son finished the race on his terms, my daughter on her’s.  I learned to let go (a little).

triathalon YMCA kids

They will always be my champions.

awards

It was an intense morning, but intensity isn’t always a bad thing. There is nothing like setting a goal and then seeing it through. Goals are funny things.  They become habits. Sometimes they  become lifelong habits that bring out the best in us.

Kids 4 to 17 can participate in the YMCA Youth Just Tri Triathalon.  It’s not gym class or the the typical sport’s arena where only the best can participate.  Children from all athletic levels are welcome. Just trying — alas, the “just tri” in the name — is encouraged.  Training for it gives kids a physical activity to focus on during the summer.  Completing in it gives kids a sense of satisfaction.  I encourage parents to check into it.  I believe many local Y’s sponsor this event.